Hemingway Parody

Parody Criteria
__ Terse Dialogue
__ More dialogue than description
__ Attention drawn to sections without dialogue
__ Dialogue is stilted
__ Tone: Objective, detached


They were sitting at the Fiorentine Restaurant in the North End of Boston, both 17 year-olds. Emma drove them there, and it was to “point out their differences” and see if the problem could be solved.
“I feel like we’re on the Hills,” said Emma

“Ya, I know, they do this kind of thing right? Going to lunches to discuss a problem, I feel like an adult already, jeez,” Yasmim replied.
The girls waited for the waiter to take their order because they knew that it would take a while for the Italian food to be ready, so they would have enough time to talk before it arrived.

“So, what’s going on with your life that I’m so trapped between friends?”

(Emma is close friends with Yasmim and Catrina. Catrina liked Sam, so did Yasmim. Sam, liked Yasmim, not Catrina. However, at the beginning of this love triangle, Emma was on Catrina’s side, as Yasmim had said that she didn’t like Sam in order to not hurt Catrina’s feelings and this is where they grew apart and Yasmim’s true nature revealed. Yasmim lied, to all of them, until now. Emma was there to confront her for her friend Catrina.)
“Well, you know how Sam didn’t like Catrina right? Well, that’s because he likes me.”

Mouth open.

“And I still like him.”

“A lot.”

Mouth even more open.

“So you lied to us.”

“I know it sounds really bad, but that’s because I really didn’t want to hurt her.”

“But you lied to us.”

“Ok, listen. We made out, and held hands, and like, ok I guess we’re dating. And yes, I did keep it a secret, but I really didn’t want to hurt her. You don’t know how hard this is.”
“How do you think she feels now?”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Ok, remember when we were in Jersey City where we met him? Catrina had pulled me aside and told me that she had really liked him and was considering a real future with him. What could I have said to that, ‘sorry he’s mine’? It got really difficult for me and I didn’t know what to do.”
“Please… please don’t tell her.”

“I… I won’t”

“You hesitated.”

“Well obviously, you just completely changed my mind.”

“I mean, do you know how people think of you right now? Scandalous, running away with boys. How am I supposed to vouch for you when I’m not supposed to say anything? Oh no, she was just trying to be nice by stealing Sam, I mean really, it’s not that easy.”
“I know that, just…”

Tears.

“Oh god, please don’t do this.”

“It’s really hard; we’re not friends because of a guy. That’s so stupid.”

“And it’s not like she’s going to accept me again, but I like him and he likes me, end of story.”


“Drama really does exist. There should be a camera around.”

“Shut up Emma.”

“I’m glad you told me what was really going on. But believe me; it’s tougher now for me than it is for you.”

“Italia- our code name for accepting to keep it a secret ok?”

“Italia.”